Humus, Triscuit, and Pickle Sandwich On Whole Wheat: A Tale of... Whatever's The Opposite of Redemption (24 Hour Race Report: A Memoir)

Longest title ever. If you've read this far, you are a true friend. Or you're really bored. Either way, thank you. And you're welcome.

Sorry for my tardiness; this race left me drained.

I began preparing for the 5th Annual 24 Hours in The Canyon as soon as last year's edition came to an end. I had ridden hard in 2010 but, due to a lack of cohesion amongst my teammates and myself (the race was the first time any of us had met), we never found a solid rhythm but finished a respectable fourth place. Not satisfied with anything but first place (ironic since I so seldom (once) experience that elusive top step of the podium), I immediately began piecing a team together for victory in 2011.

Flash O'Brannon (Daniel Brannon) was first on the list and a given. He's my main riding buddy out here and, as an extremely proficient descender, has pushed my skills to a new level since my move to Amarillo. Second to the team was Team Super Awesome's Overlord, Wiley Mosley. As our Specialized rep, he kinda got roped into participation through the bike shop, but he immediately seemed excited to do the race. Nailing down a fourth guy proved to be a bit difficult, with candidates ranging from local riding buddies, to Wiley's pro buddies, to big name pros (apparently the Boss Man knows people...). In the end, we decided to pick a fast rider who we all got along with; one who is fun and easy-going, but is capable of getting out on the bike and laying down lap after smoking-fast lap. A lot can happen during the course of a 24 hour race, and we wanted to make the experience as pleasant as possible in terms of team cohesion. Having ridden the Dirty Dozen 12 hour race just a few months earlier, I knew that Peter Hartwig fit this bill. He is a super-fit and super-quick Cat 1 mountain biker who can lay down consistent and fast laps hour after hour, and I knew that he would be capable of a Hail Mary lap should we need one in the 11th (or in this case 23rd) hour. Even more importantly, I knew he'd bring an even temper and humor to the team. Team Kordestani is the local dominant team, and they always bring a strong group out to this race, but I was confident that with this lineup we could definitely give them a run for their money, if not win outright.

Break bike, ignore the problem, break brakes, buy new brakes, buy new tires, setup tires, yada yada yada. A week later...

We arrived at the canyon on Saturday morning (the race was to begin at noon Saturday and end noon Sunday) and began setting up camp, which included an inflatable pool in the back of the Hills Sport Shop pickup truck. Smart. If you've ever done or plan on doing a 24 hour race in June (not smart), I highly recommend bringing a pool, as it is the best idea for cooling down after laying down some hot laps.

Time to toe the line. We decided that Wiley would start for us, and we'd each do two laps to begin with. The idea was that it would take us roughly one lap (around 40 minutes for the faster folks) to warm up, and we'd be faster on our second lap without leaving us totally cooked. We would hopefully put a few minutes into the other teams on each lap, and be around a lap up by mid-afternoon. The opening lap included about one mile on pavement, so Flash, Peter, and I lined up down this stretch to witness the start. By the time he got to singletrack, Wiley had ridden everyone else off of his wheel. At the end of his second lap, we were about 6 minutes up on Team Kordestani, who would indeed prove to be our biggest rival throughout.

It was during Pete's first lap that our string of unfortunate events began its hold and never really let us go. About halfway through, Pete punctured his rear tire, and since he hadn't added any sealant to the tire EVER, it immediately went flat. Undeterred, Pete just kept his head down and hammered it out to the finish, where I was waiting with a feed. Despite his bad luck, Pete still turned out a 45 minute lap. Good thing I was kitted up and ready to go, cause my turn came around about 40 minutes early.

We kept churning out 35 to 38 minute laps, and we were under the impression that, despite the flat tire and subsequent sub-par lap, we were still putting time into Team Kordestani, however we somehow lost the lead and took up the chase. (This is about the time that Peter introduced me to the humus, triscuit, and pickle sandwich. It's as disgusting as it sounds.) Deep into what was probably my fourth or fifth lap (it all started blurring together almost immediately) as I was climbing one of the steeper pitches on course, my foot slipped out of my right pedal. I thought "Dangit, that's never happend before." As I started unsuccessfully trying to reclip I looked down to see bits and pieces of my Eggbeater scattering on the trail beneath me. I used the remaining nub to pedal up the climbs, bomb the descents, and rail the corners, praying that the arch of my shoe wouldn't slip off the tiny nub. I somehow still managed a 45 minute lap (seeing a pattern here?).

Morale slowly went down along with the sun, and we started turning out night laps. Flash got caught out without a light when it suddenly went from dusk to complete darkness, and Peter and I began doubling up on laps once more, as we were the most comfortable with night riding. At some point in the early morning I went off the trail, simultaneously over-corrected and goosed my new Formula The One brakes, and took a swan dive into a cactus patch, tacoing my front wheel in the process. My bike and I limped in and Flash selflessly sacrificed his front wheel and brake hardware so that I could continue riding. It was around this time that the promoter came over to tell us that Team Kordestani was a full lap ahead of us, and that they had indeed already lapped us on course. This continues to baffle us all, as none of us remember being passed by one of their riders. At our worst, our lap times were 8 minutes slower than theirs; at our best 3-4 minutes faster. It matters not. Both teams were flying; ours featured several stops along the way and they seemed to be riding flawlessly.

From this point until dawn was one of the hardest and most draining experiences in my entire life, both physically and mentally. We could each hardly muster the strength to keep pedaling, and as our support crew of Beth, Ashley, Mae, Danh, and the Calcotes began heading to their tents for some shut-eye, it became even more difficult to simply stay awake, and I'm pretty sure I had a deep philosophical conversation with the chupacabra (what a guy!), but it could have been delirium.

As the sun came up, our morale improved dramatically. Wiley and I tracked down an iPod containing 'Eye of the Tiger' and we blared it from the shop truck as loud as the speakers would go. At 5:30am it was quite the wake up call for ours and adjacent campsites. We continued chasing, and eventually caught Team Kordestani on course, but they weren't going to let us make up an entire lap. We eventually called it quites after about 23 hours of constant riding. Still in our sweaty kits, we hopped in the pool for a victory (in the sense that we were done) brew. Wiley graciously gave to our rivals the bottle of champagne that he had brought to celebrate our victory.

Team Hills Sport Shop finished a total of 34 laps to Team Kordestani's 35, in roughly the same finishing time. The promoters and timing chip company officially listed the race lap at 10 miles, but I consistently measured it at 8.5 miles, giving us a distance of 289 miles, and an average of roughly 12.5 miles per hour. Second place result aside, I consider our effort righteous. The four fastest laps of the entire event came from our race; two from Peter and two from Wiley, with Wiley taking the cake at 34:05, though Peter was nipping at his heels around 34:30. My personal goal for the race was to beat my fastest lap from last year, which was 40:40. I consistently put down laps faster than that, with my fastest coming in around 37:50.

All things considered, this year's 24 Hours in the Canyon was a success. We each rode our hearts out, set some really fast lap times, and had a fun time. Not once did we get in so much as a small argument throughout the whole race. Next year, Team Hills Sport Shop will once again race this event with the goal of victory.

Thanks to everyone who helped us out during the race, and to Mae Reed for photographing. Mae's photos of the event are here.

Up next for me is Team Kordestani's Fourth of July time trial, more road riding, and some intervals nearing the end of summer as I gear up for the West Texas fall series and CrossVegas (VEGAS BABY!).

Til next time,

Ian

Juan Pelota y mi, Juan Velocidad

I woke up Saturday morning expecting it to be a normal day of work. I'd sell some bikes, eat some lunch, sell some shoes, and go home. I had planned on going to church with Flash and Beth on Sunday morning in light of the relatively poor weather forecast for that day. Little did I know what was about to transpire...

Around noon on Saturday I logged on to the PC in my fit "studio" at the shop to check out the changes we recently made to our Facebook Fan Page. It was then that I saw the message from Keevin, a fellow desert-dwelling mountain biker, that read simply "Do you want to go to Mellow Johnny's?". I immediately doubted the feasibility of the idea, as I've been spending the last few months since the end of 'cross just doing lots of long, steady, base miles with my only goal of the season being the 24-hour race. I was in NO shape for cross-country, especially considering the caliber of riders I knew I'd be facing. Clearly I had to go! I arranged to leave work early and sped home to collect my gear for the race. We left Amarillo at about 4 o'clock for the eight-hour drive to Dripping Springs.

I woke at the hotel the next morning up feeling really good, had a decent sized breakfast, and drank what I thought was plenty of water as we drove out to the course. The temperature was supposed to be in the high 80s and the wind was already picking up quite a lot of dust, but I was never worried. My plan was just to finish. We were still a few hours from the start of the race but I decided to kit up (skin suit because why not?) and begin riding around. I was still feeling really good as I continued to eat and drink. I got in a really good warm up and talked to dozens of mountain bikers I haven't seen in months, especially Jeremiah and Peter from Aggieland Cycling. I toed the line with Nathan Winkelman and a host of other really fast guys, but I wasn't really nervous because I just wanted to get out, get some miles in, and finish strong. Once again, little did I know...

The whistle blew and we were off. My mantra over the years has become "hole shot, damage control", and at 200+ pounds, I usually don't have trouble finding a couple dozen watts to make this happen. This day, though, I couldn't find them. I knew from the get-go that I was in trouble. The field blew through the opening bend and over to the single track kicking up a huge cloud of dust. Breathing was next to impossible. I entered the single track in about 15th position. Wink and the fastest guys were gone immediately, and I quickly lost contact with the next small group. Over the course of the next five or six miles I consumed all of my water and my legs and feet began cramping (I left Amarillo in such a hurry that I forgot to put my green Specialized BG footbeds and varus wedges in my new shoes). I basically limped through the last mile or so of the first lap into the feed zone. Jeremiah had two fresh bottles waiting for me, and I drained a neutral bottle as well. I immediately felt a lot better, and considered slogging through a second lap. Ultimately, though, I knew I couldn't come back from the hydration/fitness deficit and would most likely not be able to complete a third lap so I decided to quite while I was ahead... or still alive, anyway.

My spirits were lifted a bit to realize that MANY other racers met the same fate as I did out on the trails. Only seven of the eighteen open single speeders finished, with attrition in the other fields almost just as bad. Pete had a better day, though, with a 6th place finish in a loaded Cat1 field.

We ended the trip with a jump into a hotel swimming pool, traditional post-race fare at Mamasitas in Fredericksburg, and the eight hour return trip to Amarillo. 16 hours of our 32 hour excursion were spent in the car. Embrace the suck.

Here's a picture from Saturday's UCI race that accurately depicts the conditions of the race.

In other news, preparation continues toward my bid to Victory (that's right, capital V) in 24 Hours in Palo Duro Canyon, now a 4-man affair. I made a few phone calls and explained the situation to my boss who did the same. I can't say who just yet, but some very big names are on the short list to join me in June. Stay tuned.

That's all for now.

-Ian

Super-Team

Calling in some ringers for 4-man at 24 Hours in Palo Duro Canyon. Nominees include Wiley, Flash, Pete and/or Josh Hartwig, Harold B., and some unknown "contacts" that my boss has. I want to win.

Fitness is up but technique is down, so I need to head out to Pitcher Pump this week and PDC for the weekend. Pray for rain as both are sandboxes right now.

Can't wait for CrossVegas and cyclocross in general. It's gonna be a long summer.

That's all.

It's life

Not much going on the past several weeks. Same old, same old.

Mom has been jobless for about three weeks and times are getting tough. It's odd to think that just a few years ago we were literally shopping for a new Cadillac for her and a new Tahoe for me (dodged a couple speeding bullets there!).

I've decided against 24 Solo. I just don't have time during the week to put in the miles necessary to safely put up a competitive ride. I'm putting together a 4-man team and still going for the top spot.

I'll conclude with another interesting perspective from "The Most Human Human."

"The term method itself is problematic because it suggests the notion of repetition and predictability--a method that anyone can apply. Method implies also mastery and closure, both of which are detrimental to invention."

-Josue Harari

...

We are replacing people not with machines, nor with computers, so much as with method. And whether it's humans or computers carrying that method out feels secondary. (The earliest games of computer chess were played without computers. Alan Turing would play games of "paper chess" by calculating, by hand, with a pencil and pad, a move-selection algorithm he'd written. Programming this procedure into a computer merely makes the process go faster.) What we are fighting for, in the twenty-first century, is the continued existence of conclusions not already foregone--the continued relevance of judgment and discovery and figuring out, and the ability to continue to exercise them.

-Brian Christian, "The Most Human Human: What Talking With Computers Teaches Us About What It Means To Be Alive"

I highly recommend this book.

Ian

Are You A Computer?

I picked up a new book earlier this week after seeing the author on The Daily Show. The book is entitled (no underline?) The Most Human Human: What Talking With Computers Teaches Us About What It Means To Be Alive. The book follows the author's involvement in the 2009 Turing Test, attempting to convince a panel of judges that he is, in fact, a human (not a computer). In his interview with Jon Stewart, author Brian Christian discusses part of his book that deals with the problem of redefining intelligence that arises in the advent of this age of computers and artificial intelligence. Having been interested in philosophy of mind and things like the Turing Test when I was in school, I knew I'd enjoy reading this book.

I was right. I'm flying through this thing. The author has a triple-major hybrid of philosophy, computer science, and poetry, and the book really showcases each simultaneously. I found the following paragraph particularly engaging (I probably am not going to quote this correctly, as I was taught way back when... que sera, sera):

"Thus, says Aristotle, the human arete (fulfillment of purpose) lies in contemplation-- 'perfect happiness is a kind of contemplative activity,' he says, adding for good measure that 'the activity of the gods ... must be a form of contemplation.' We can only imagine how unbelievably convenient a conclusion this is for a professional philosopher to draw--and we may rightly suspect a conflict of interest. Then again, it's hard to say whether his conclusions derived from his lifestyle or his lifestyle derived from his conclusions, and so we shouldn't be so quick to judge. Plus, who wouldn't have some self-interest in describing their notion of 'the most human human'? Still, despite the grain of salt that 'thinkers' praise of thinking' should have been taken with, the emphasis they placed on reason seemed stick."

I didn't sit down at the computer intendind to write a synopsis of the book, so I'll wrap up by say that this book is awesome and, most of the time, quite funny. I highly recommend it.

Diet Coke

The following goes for all "diet" junk foods. I'm sorry if you're a fan of them, I don't mean this as a personal affront, merely an observation... A very intense observation:

Diet Coke is stupid! Have a Coke or don't have a Coke. If you are concerned with the calories/sugar/yada yada, then perhaps you should be having a glass of refreshing water. Or milk.

That's all I have to say about that.

On a happier note, I had quite the good road ride today. I was finally able to take my day off, so I used the morning to run a few errands leaving my afternoon free for a ride. Road riding was my only option for today as my cross bike Duchess is all dressed up in roadie gear. My mountain bike Camille and my newly-acquired cross bike Ramona are single-speeds, effectively leaving them out of the picture as I would have to ride them to the trails in order to ride. Weather.com reported 10mph winds out of the NW, which turned out to not be entirely (or even partially) true, but I nonetheless headed north and west.

Within only 40 minutes of the leaving my house, I was out in a totally unrecognized wilderness. I guess I've driven through the area a few times, but the countryside northwest of Amarillo is surprisingly hilly! I found myself in the small chainring far more than I would have expected. It turned out to be a really challenging ride of somewhere in the neighborhood of 45-50 miles (I don't know exactly, I guess I could Google it. I thought my computer was freaking out giving me unrealistically high speeds and distances so I reset it several times over the ride. The problem with this is I never saw the flashing KPH in the corner... The issue has since been resolved.)

Topped off the ride with some Frazzle Berries fro-yo (newest Hills Sport Shop jersey sponsor). It was delicious but a tad pricey. Maybe we'll get some coupons.

Preparation continues for 24 Solo. Suggestions and comments are highly appreciated.

-Ian

Focus and Fear

I have sold my car and am commuting solely by means of bicycle. It's mentally exhausting at times, but it's also great to start and end every work day with a 5-7 mile jaunt through town. I can also feel myself getting stronger on the bike. A wise (though tiny) man once told me not to discount my commuter miles. It has tripled my weekly mileage!

I'll need all the base miles I can get, though, because I've decided to do 24 Solo at 24 Hours In The Canyon. I've deluded myself into thinking I can make it through such a grueling event. I'm terrified, and I only have 90-some-odd days to prepare...